18 Comments

As one of the aforementioned dog allergy sufferers… justice for those of us who know that hypoallergenic dogs Do Not Exist and continue to have doodles shoved upon us with the naive (and presumptuous) assertion of “don’t worry he’s hypoallergenic!” IF HE LICKS ME I WILL INFLAME, JANET.

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BOUCLE

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It needed to be said

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i always call it the "doodle industrial complex"

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No bad dogs - only bad people (and/or wizards committing wizard crimes)!

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The "success perm" reference absolutely killed me! In general, the rise of trendy breeds is absolutely annoying and problematic. As with any pet, people should choose the right breed *for them* and not whatever is currently popping off as a status symbol, especially because there is absolutely zero consistency in disposition or reasons for their popularity. In recent years, New York has seen the Frenchie wave, the Husky wave (not an apartment dog, dummies!), the "I'm virtue signaling with a rescue pit" wave, the doodle wave, and now we're entering the Doberman wave. Enough! Half these dogs end up rehomed because the original owners adopted the dog based on trend and not compatibility.

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I have a doodle (a re-homed Cockapoo, specifically). Doodles are indeed very popular and incite a lot of backlash. My dog didn't ask to be born and bought by a lady who crated him for 8 hours/day for 2 years, no training or socialization, short walks, and then given away. She bought a new dog a month later.

My sister's doodle (a shihpoo) was also a rescue after being abandoned twice in her first year. It's true that these dogs require a lot of care, breeders charge a lot for them, and they've very cute. They also require a lot more care and attention than many people are prepared for. I tell people Max's back-story a lot partly to show not all doodle owners are bad, or support breeders.

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This has to be the most seamless and effective usage of the word smanged I’ve ever seen

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I hate frenchies.

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Ahhhhhhhahahahahaha. There were so many good lines in this one. "Mischievous hand-rubbing and too little regard for antihistamines." I bought the shit out my cockapoo after years of asthma and dog-fur vacuuming. I just love him. And also love your Substack. Thanks for never taking anything too seriously so we can all have a laugh together.

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Fucking thank you.

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5 days later, we've unofficially begun referring to our (SPCA rescue) doodle as Chaos Muppet.

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this is so well-written and funny and made me smile (even though those silly lil doodle dogs all over brooklyn also still make me smile)

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The first column i agree with! Doodles are not cute! And breeding / buying them not ethical! (Adopting is different)

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How dare you insult my fluffy, high maintenance child??? I really hope the next essay is about literally every toddler, because this newsletter will be incredibly unbalanced if not

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So true. Fuck those dogs.

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