Love the parallels you’re drawing here between modern dating and job hunting, which are rooted around the same insecurities around security in an uncertain world.
I watched Materialists on the plane last week. I hear it "flopped" because it was billed as a romcom and is most certainly not funny. But the questions that the director wanted to pose about dating in this tech-enhanced, commodified age were worthy ... maybe just not executed 100%. Worth a watch as it's in conversation with the things you're bringing up
YES! I really loved the movie and was confused that the discourse seemed to….not? it was perfectly in conversation with the whole trad/relationship-hack stuff I see elsewhere
The one upside of this job hunting "ritual without faith" (chef's kiss on that) is that I've never felt closer to the youths. We were all sold a bill of goods. I was born in 1971, they've been spinning these lies since before I was here, and they're going to keep spinning them until today's babies are great great great grandparents unless we all stand up.
The answer, as hard as it is to achieve, is for all of us to start worrying about everyone's precarity, loudly, and not just our own. We're all in this together, and we have numbers.
I love Deez Links and I appreciate the wisdom, wit, and humanity you bring to my inbox in these shitass times.
Wise words that hit hard "No wonder, in the face of this new economic machine, which has finally achieved full facelessness and impersonality, that all but the happily delusional and the lucky have lost all sense of agency in the realm of work and careerism, which we as Americans have been told since The Beginning was our path toward acceptance and security"
I’m old, I had as successful a career as a woman born in 1950 could have dreamed, and the man I married could earn in minutes what I worked 3 full-time jobs to earn in a year. His success and generosity have enabled me to support thousands of individuals and organizations over decades. And I still adore him with newlywed enthusiasm. For those of you old enough to remember the brokerage commercial saying they make money the old-fashioned way, they earn it - I say I made mine the old-fashioned way, I married it.
My babysitter used to tell me "it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man."
I fell in love with a college student when I was a college student, and we built things together women in your generation never had the opportunity to do. My husband made 3x what I did for most of our marriage, but I was catching up when we both got laid off. Pay equality at last! ;)
May your marriage stay magic and adorable for many decades to come.
Omg we’re on the same page. I literally wrote about this exact topic this week and referenced the humiliation ritual piece!!! The job search is like dating in 2025. We’re all looking for an answer to our existential problems, security in a world that’s chaotic and uncertain. Really enjoyed this!
“when we worry about work or dating, we are worrying about the same thing, which is: am I going to make it? Will I find security? Will I be able to attain the level of comfort in life that I want? Will I be protected? Is someone going to protect me? Or am I going to slip through the cracks of this economy—and this society.” So good.
Love the parallels you’re drawing here between modern dating and job hunting, which are rooted around the same insecurities around security in an uncertain world.
So brilliant and brain bursting!!
I watched Materialists on the plane last week. I hear it "flopped" because it was billed as a romcom and is most certainly not funny. But the questions that the director wanted to pose about dating in this tech-enhanced, commodified age were worthy ... maybe just not executed 100%. Worth a watch as it's in conversation with the things you're bringing up
YES! I really loved the movie and was confused that the discourse seemed to….not? it was perfectly in conversation with the whole trad/relationship-hack stuff I see elsewhere
I felt this one.
The one upside of this job hunting "ritual without faith" (chef's kiss on that) is that I've never felt closer to the youths. We were all sold a bill of goods. I was born in 1971, they've been spinning these lies since before I was here, and they're going to keep spinning them until today's babies are great great great grandparents unless we all stand up.
The answer, as hard as it is to achieve, is for all of us to start worrying about everyone's precarity, loudly, and not just our own. We're all in this together, and we have numbers.
I love Deez Links and I appreciate the wisdom, wit, and humanity you bring to my inbox in these shitass times.
Sincerely,
your resident old person
Wise words that hit hard "No wonder, in the face of this new economic machine, which has finally achieved full facelessness and impersonality, that all but the happily delusional and the lucky have lost all sense of agency in the realm of work and careerism, which we as Americans have been told since The Beginning was our path toward acceptance and security"
I’m old, I had as successful a career as a woman born in 1950 could have dreamed, and the man I married could earn in minutes what I worked 3 full-time jobs to earn in a year. His success and generosity have enabled me to support thousands of individuals and organizations over decades. And I still adore him with newlywed enthusiasm. For those of you old enough to remember the brokerage commercial saying they make money the old-fashioned way, they earn it - I say I made mine the old-fashioned way, I married it.
My babysitter used to tell me "it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man."
I fell in love with a college student when I was a college student, and we built things together women in your generation never had the opportunity to do. My husband made 3x what I did for most of our marriage, but I was catching up when we both got laid off. Pay equality at last! ;)
May your marriage stay magic and adorable for many decades to come.
“Ambient panic” is wonderful
This is great. Have also been thinking about this a lot lately; thank you for putting it into words.
Love this perspecive. Funny how those 'outdated lectures' often contain the most timeless algorithms. Always appreciate a good plot twist.
Omg we’re on the same page. I literally wrote about this exact topic this week and referenced the humiliation ritual piece!!! The job search is like dating in 2025. We’re all looking for an answer to our existential problems, security in a world that’s chaotic and uncertain. Really enjoyed this!
This title alone is my favorite
The last line made me laugh so hard. Hehe 4 wines down conversational clarity in the best way.
“when we worry about work or dating, we are worrying about the same thing, which is: am I going to make it? Will I find security? Will I be able to attain the level of comfort in life that I want? Will I be protected? Is someone going to protect me? Or am I going to slip through the cracks of this economy—and this society.” So good.