This is probably the best hate reads of this season in terms of piercing analysis. I have noticed the same exact thing - my friends who come from generational wealth are so much happier, their lives are smoother, their relationships are easier. They truly don’t have to worry about anything because they know they’ll be fine. They think up some existential problems for themselves to fill the time, sure, but so do the rest of us. They don’t get into fights with their partners, because what is there to fight about? The maid will pick up the socks, they’ll just order takeout again tonight, they’ll plan a fabulous vacation to recharge. They can afford to be in low-paying jobs that they find meaningful and enjoy. They can curate their lives in a way the rest of us just can’t. And because of social media, this is what we all aspire to, so we all see the deficits in our own lives even more plainly. No amount of individual therapy can change the material reality of the world.
I think this is also why most of our art and media is kind of shit these days, those institutions are all run by scions of the wealthiest sociopaths, who have never had to actually grapple with how the world works in any meaningful way.
This. Thank you for writing this. I’m so tired of wealthy people saying “we all have the same 24 hours.” No. We don’t. For the reasons you mentioned and dozens more.
Being around wealthy people when I was college-aged, and seeing their carefree manner up-close was the best thing that could have happened to me. Growing up borderline poor, I’d never encountered anyone—literally *anyone*—who wasn’t stressed out. Who wasn’t worried about money. Who didn’t see everything through the prism of “can I afford it?” College changed that. I wanted what they had. Not the money, but the carefree-ness. The epiphany was that I could have it after all. It required a level of trust in myself and the universe that I’d never contemplated before. I convinced myself that, in order to be alive *right now* a whole lot of shit had to work out. And it obviously had, and has. Therapy did absolutely nothing positive for me, but dedicating myself to this concept changed my life. I’m not saying it will work for anyone in this world aside from me, but it genuinely worked and continues to work for me.
I quit therapy at the end of 2024 and have zero regrets. I was just...done after a decade of all different types and styles and methods. I loved it all. And now I'm my own therapist. Shrug.
This this this 1000% this. I've done therapy, twelve step, journaling, meditation, psychedelics, heck I'm halfway through The Artists Way. Should I just stop thinking about myself so much? (Or win the lottery? Or both?)
I get this. The alternate that I experience is with wealthy friends calling to talk about their lives and the first world problems they are having. Without a seconds considerations to how my state of mind or life is. Well knowing I don't have any stability. It comes with never having a care. Right now it is especially agravating because the political world doesn't upset them as much. No consequences for them.
This is probably the best hate reads of this season in terms of piercing analysis. I have noticed the same exact thing - my friends who come from generational wealth are so much happier, their lives are smoother, their relationships are easier. They truly don’t have to worry about anything because they know they’ll be fine. They think up some existential problems for themselves to fill the time, sure, but so do the rest of us. They don’t get into fights with their partners, because what is there to fight about? The maid will pick up the socks, they’ll just order takeout again tonight, they’ll plan a fabulous vacation to recharge. They can afford to be in low-paying jobs that they find meaningful and enjoy. They can curate their lives in a way the rest of us just can’t. And because of social media, this is what we all aspire to, so we all see the deficits in our own lives even more plainly. No amount of individual therapy can change the material reality of the world.
I think this is also why most of our art and media is kind of shit these days, those institutions are all run by scions of the wealthiest sociopaths, who have never had to actually grapple with how the world works in any meaningful way.
This. Thank you for writing this. I’m so tired of wealthy people saying “we all have the same 24 hours.” No. We don’t. For the reasons you mentioned and dozens more.
thank god someone said it...therapy made me think about myself all the time and girl that simply can't be healthy
Being around wealthy people when I was college-aged, and seeing their carefree manner up-close was the best thing that could have happened to me. Growing up borderline poor, I’d never encountered anyone—literally *anyone*—who wasn’t stressed out. Who wasn’t worried about money. Who didn’t see everything through the prism of “can I afford it?” College changed that. I wanted what they had. Not the money, but the carefree-ness. The epiphany was that I could have it after all. It required a level of trust in myself and the universe that I’d never contemplated before. I convinced myself that, in order to be alive *right now* a whole lot of shit had to work out. And it obviously had, and has. Therapy did absolutely nothing positive for me, but dedicating myself to this concept changed my life. I’m not saying it will work for anyone in this world aside from me, but it genuinely worked and continues to work for me.
And weed. Definitely weed.
E. Perel, thank you for writing this analysis it’s her I needed to read today.
I can delete "Against Therapy" from my "things to write" note now. Thank you for alleviating some of the anxiety around failing at my writing habit.
I quit therapy at the end of 2024 and have zero regrets. I was just...done after a decade of all different types and styles and methods. I loved it all. And now I'm my own therapist. Shrug.
This is the best piece I've read this year....
Hate this but also love it so i guess that is a job well done.
This this this 1000% this. I've done therapy, twelve step, journaling, meditation, psychedelics, heck I'm halfway through The Artists Way. Should I just stop thinking about myself so much? (Or win the lottery? Or both?)
"now that they’re back to five, six days on site." This was a delightful hyphen fest. Thanks.
I get this. The alternate that I experience is with wealthy friends calling to talk about their lives and the first world problems they are having. Without a seconds considerations to how my state of mind or life is. Well knowing I don't have any stability. It comes with never having a care. Right now it is especially agravating because the political world doesn't upset them as much. No consequences for them.
i can resonate. it’s time to manage our expectations and be way less ambitious about how happy we should be. We should dial down the threshold a bit