traumatized nerd thing + an oklahoman 11 + 4DX??...twisters was perfect
Plus: hot dog poem
Thank you Tatum Hunter for memorializing my thoughts in WaPo about assassin memes with maybe my all-time favorite quote: “The prevailing feeling is like, ‘This is like so stupid that it’s below me to comment,’ or, ‘I’ve given up taking things seriously so I’m just making tweets until the asteroid hits,’” she said. Ya I stand by it. Also, really good Lincoln-era anecdote in there. Didn’t know Harper’s was that funny ever!
When I was six years old, my parents took me to Disneyland etc., and one of those days we spent at Universal Studios. When we walked into the “Twister” “ride,” my parents sort of forgot that I was uh six, so they didn’t tell me that what we were walking into was a FAKE experience themed to a movie that I of course had never seen. So there were all these fake TVs on the walls inside with fake newscasts warning about an approaching tornado, and I started panicking. (As real heads now, I grew up in central Illinois, where the fear of tornadoes is inculcated at an early age via school drills and monthly tornado siren tests you can hear from your house.) I was like, there’s a tornado coming here and no one seems bothered? Does this place even HAVE a basement???? (Later, we went on the Jaws ride, and I also lost my shit over the mechanical shark.)
Anyway, as a result of this formative psychological damage, I have never seen the original Twister, but I *did* see the new Twisters directed by my midwestern king Lee Isaac Chung yesterday, and it was AWESOME. More movies should A) make fun of British journalists named Ben, and B) embrace the 4DX format as a way to trick your body into feeling actual fear. I have never had more fun being shaken around like that. (My only complaint is that the “wind” that blows on you is very cold, so bring a good jacket lol.) (Also, try to eat your chicken fingers BEFORE the movie starts). After the credits rolled, I got up and couldn’t find one of my sandals. Now that’s cinema. Vulture endorses.
Per the acting, I think Daisy Edgar-Jones did her traumatized nerd thing perfectly again, and as for the Glen Powell thing, which you guys know I am on the fence about, I adored him in this; it’s on par as his best role with Everybody Wants Some!. Have I changed my mind about Powell’s star quality? Maybe a little bit. But embodying an internet-famous Oklahoman 11 is one thing; having actual urban center heartthrob range is another. Sorry!
What are RNC parties like? Bravely, WaPo’s Kara Voght and Jesús Rodríguez found out for us:
Then, an electric guitar strummed out the telltale opening riff of the boomer anthem. Suddenly, the dance floor was flooded with men dressed like Tucker Carlson and women in that Tuckernuck dress, sha-la-tee-da-ing under the muted shimmer of fog machines and a disco ball.
Party reporting is culture reporting is maybe the official “talkin’ to folks at the diner” political temperature taking format of 2024, as The Cut’s Brock Colyar has also done with their Hawk Tuah party report. The vibes are……escalating.
Taffy Brodesser-Akner wrote about the trauma, mostly hers, that informs her new novel, confirming conclusively that yeah, the thing that happened in her first novel, Fleishman Is In Trouble, came straight from her own experience.
At one point, it occurred to me that, all these years later, I had not gotten over anything so much as I had built a city out of my suffering, a monument to my trauma. I had done hours of exposure therapy by then, and my last word on exposure therapy is that if it worked, then hiring a world-class actress to play out the worst day of my life over and over would have made it so that I am not sobbing even right now as I type this.
I’ve been thinking about how Parul Sehgal wrote this critique of the trauma plot device ages ago (okay in 2021), and it makes me wonder (especially after Twisters, which is a $200M literal trauma metaphor) whether trauma as a narrative “device,” IRL or in fiction, can ever truly feel tired (or become transcended) if it’s also maybe the best framework we have for understanding….the human condition?
The great Matt Starr, the genius behind the indie chic New York readings at Sbarro, Burger King, and The River (<-- he helped me throw the Hate Read event in May!) has a delightful book of poetry coming out this week called MOUTHFUL. He gave me a poem to publish here in Deez Links for you all to enjoy…
ADULT SUPERVISION
growing up
my brother and i
would take our dad’s
power drill
and stick hot dogs
on the end of it
we’d turn it
to the lowest setting
and try sucking them off
while they spun around
in circles
we would tease each other
pulling the drill
in and out
of our mouths
we’d bob at them
like fish
reaching for flies
sometimes
we’d tie each other’s hands up
and hold our mouths open wide
slowly moving the drill
closer and closer
until it was all the way in
and see how long
we could hold it for
before attempting
to suck the hot dog
off the drill bit
it was always easier
on our knees
we did this for a year
until our parents walked in on us
and told us
we couldn’t play
with power tools anymore
without adult supervision
but because our parents
worked so late
we never had them around
to supervise us
so we never did it again
and now
they don’t buy us
hot dogs anymore
Finally, I would like to take the chance to list some of my favorite tweets about JD Vance, because in times like these it’s patriotic that we as an internet community can come together and make fun of our one true enemy: male memoirists.
Having new main characters on our political stage is at least good for the content! We were really running out of Biden/Trump meme steam there…
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Looking for a cool and free art exhibition? The Jeremy DePrez exhibition at Post Times was just selected by Artforum as a MUST SEE show this summer, so don’t miss it! Located on Henry Street in lower Chinatown, there are several other experimental art galleries on the block (all free), plus you can get 15 dumplings for $5 a few doors down!
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