the hypermortadellification of bologna
Plus: When internet memes escape the containment zone, papa Ezra, shifty Jake Gyllenhaal.
This extra-caffeinated edition of Deez Links is brought to you by La Colombe Coffee Roasters! La Colombe is known for crafting premium coffee and cold brew, including their Draft Latte, a cold canned latte with one-of-a-kind frothy, creamy texture. You can find Draft Latte at your nearest grocery store or on their site here.
I’ve been thinking about this tweet from @hkatewilliams and the replies under it that reference what feels like such a dated brand of layperson humor pre-social media, AKA the “Anchorman era.” It gave me a rush of nostalgia for the sensation of being in middle school and observing the other kids quoting lines from movies/TV (that I usually had not seen), which I suppose was how we communicated our prepubescent cultural tastes and used this kind of parrot act to suss out who else in 7th grade might, say, match our freak.
In the post-“Damnnnn Daniel” era, the dominant form of shared culture is internet virality; maybe you’re not actually on TikTok to witness the “very demure, very mindful” meme take off, but that doesn’t matter: a bunch of random strangers across the world just had to react strongly enough to the original video to trigger algorithmic interest, which then exposes this just-unique-enough catchphrase of the week to a group of users very invested in seizing on/riffing/cribbing/over-explaining any aberration in the digital sludge as something novel. And then media always needs the new thing to talk about, of course.
One could argue that this kind of mimetic swarming around the white-hot lightbulb of clout simply illustrates our general lack of originality and desperate hive mind need to conform. But I kind of love watching the moment an internet catchphrase spills over into the physical world of coffee-shop sidewalk signs and co-worker conversations. The personal experience of being online is usually such a private and isolating one, so speaking a TikTok sound into real life context reminds me of the driving motivations behind our middle-school selves. Hey I’m just wondering if you saw the same stuff I did. Or, put another way: I think we’re asking each other, that was real, right?
Rachelle Hampton’s take on Colleen Hoover for Defector was the only thing I needed to read about That Movie; it’s spicy how Hampton calls out the Mainstream Media for essentially being a little too euphemistic about how uh bad the writing is.
If you’re in the New York area and have trouble keeping track of alllllllll the cool indie music shows you neeeeeeeed to go to, GUNK is a beautiful risograph-printed music showpaper that also lives on Substack as GUNKYARD. Idk any of these bands they talk about, but I like knowing that I could…
Seems that the Voxfather Ezra Klein has usurped Michael Barbaro’s place as liberal media’s favorite salt-and-pepper daddy, which is maybe the truest sign of Obamacore resurgence. (Vox would be late Obamacore, but “The Daily” is Resistance Era-coded, of course)
The most eye-popping part of Luke Winkie’s experience at Crimecon, where families of murder victims and true crime junkies intermix, was this:
Cooley’s calls to her local news stations had gone unreturned for weeks after her son’s disappearance—until one day she began to weave his biographical details into her plight. Rounds had left home at 17 to start a farm on his grandfather’s property. The color of his life was enough to overcome the algorithm. Suddenly, Rounds’ story was everywhere. … “We gave him a brand. Gabby was the blogger, and Dylan was the farmer. Unfortunately, that’s what it takes.”
Obviously overtourism is heinous, but this Italian journalist’s op-ed bemoaning the ruination of Bologna via…hypermortadellification? is not not hilarious…
TV Rec: I spent a week watching Apple TV’s Presumed Innocent, which is an 8-episode courtroom thriller that makes perfect use of Jake Gyllenhaal’s handsome shiftiness/shifty handsomeness. Ruth Negga is also fantastic in it, but the show really belongs to O-T Fagbenle, who you’ll recognize most easily as Luke / the lone unproblematic man in The Handmaid’s Tale. Here, he has such a fun role and vibe reversal as a bitchy Chicago district attorney.
FYI: Deez Links is taking the rest of the summer off! See you September 9!!
~A message from our sponsor~
La Colombe’s Draft Lattes are a delicious coffee experience, combining creamy, frothy-textured milk and real cold brew in a can for a cafe experience no matter where you are. Plus they’re made with real ingredients and 50% less sugar than other leading flavored coffee brands. Available in flavors like Triple shot, Vanilla, Mocha, and Oatmilk. Grab a can at your local grocery store or on their site today and thank me later.
That Crimecon story 😬
"The personal experience of being online is usually such a private and isolating one." This just gave me chills. It's true, our online presence is so separate from our presence in real life, so deeply personal, so hidden away.