no word yet on how many girls actually named Ashley Madison have filed for a name change

So Ashley Madison is in this odd situation where they have to rebrand because, ya know, the whole massive ass security breach thing. But they also don’t want to like, rebrand too much, because said security breach kind of doubled as a massive ass publicity push, too??

TechCrunch interviewed the company’s new CEO to discuss, which is worth reading just for the strangeness that is marketing infidelity, but also I recommend hate-watching the three TV spots Ashley Madison released.

Not saying that I expected them to be, like, tasteful, but these are so problematic that I oughta reach through this computer screen and hand you a vom bag as a precursor. The subway leering! The unnerving sole focus on white, blonde women! The weird af Mumford & Sons-esque tracks! The sheer nonsensical plot of the “Poly” spot!

Before you lose yourself in despair over the state of advertising though, here’s a refreshing contrast: Nike India’s latest spot, promoting women in sports in India. Ugh. I could watch Nike’s women-focused spots (here’s another fave) all day.

There’s been a lot of talk about ~co-opting feminism~ and all that, and of course, ultimately, using any kind of social movement to boost sales does not exactly equate sainthood. But if you’ve got the massive marketing dollars & iconic cultural status, why not make a statement/use your powers for good while you’re at it?

Like Deez Links? Forward to the Team Luke contingent of your Bachelorette squad.