Newsletters to help you sound rich even if not rich

Plus: Luddite teens, horny profiles, Miranda July’s relationship advice…

At the recommendation of my new eye doc, I got this heated eye mask (no affiliate link, just a pure rec) that you plug in and put on for 10-20 minutes before bed, and it has provoked the deepest, most REM-wild sleep I’ve had in ages. Turns out that laying calmly under a warm little face weight is not a bad way to wind down. Add in my night guard, a carpal tunnel wrist splint and weighted blanket, and it’s possible that I’ve not so much “hacked” sleep as I’ve simply learned how to bind myself like an animal in order to lose consciousness.

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Today’s newsletter is for profile nerds, Luddite teen skeptics, and anyone who wants to know what the most successful mode of newsletter writership to operate in appears to be…