"lip movement was 'consistent with chewing'"

“Cops say it was a cellphone. But this driver hired a lawyer to prove it was a hash brown” is the kind of headline and local story that most of us can only fantasize about putting out in the world, but WaPo did it, and ugh, sometimes it’s so unfair to see other people live out your dreams!!! (though in our humble/hungry opinion, the article is not nearly potato pun-encrusted enough. what’s a gal gotta do to get some good spud wordplay around here??)