emergency deez: notes on those 3 (yes I said 3!) Cut essays

I've dreamed of discourse like this.

Picture me crawling to my desk in the throes of food poisoning and/or the world’s most dramatic reaction to an MMR booster vaccine, wiping applesauce and saltine crumbs from my chin, valiantly muttering to myself with the conviction of a war vet, “but The Cut essays discourse!! We can’t miss out!” and you have a full picture of the state in which I am w…